Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Black Pepper is the Worst Pepper There Is

I have something to say...

I don't like black pepper.

I don't like it.

I don't like black pepper.

For the life of me I can't figure out why people insist on putting it in and on everything? I can't sit down to a nice meal or even a casual num num without it staring up at me. It's in my soup, on my chicken, on the table, watching me sleep... Everywhere!

What's the goddamn deal? Everybody loves this stuff... but why? It tastes like somebody ran a marathon without wearing deodorant and then concentrated the smell that emanated from their armpits into a seasoning. It tastes like a junkyard filled with tires and armpits burned for days until Mrs. Dash, or whoever the fuck, came down and collected the ashes into a jar and subsequently decided to sprinkle it on everything.

I'm not saying you're wrong for liking it, but what's the goddamn deal with this stuff? I'd at least like to have the option of asking for my eats to come without it, but I dont want to risk getting thrown out of every restaurant in town for idiocy. This is prejudice! I have friends at the ACLU that i'll be contacting about this immediately.